This post was written by speaker and podcaster Danielle Zapchenk. Learn more at daniellezapchenk.com.
Today I was a chaperone.
This winter, I had the pleasure of chaperoning 45 high schoolers.
Not just once but four different Saturdays. And no, I wasn’t the only adult there. Our daughter is a Freshman in high school and she joined their first-ever season of Show Choir.
I remember my mom taking grade school Danielle to see a show choir called “Vintage” and I was enamored with everything. To my dismay, our high school didn’t have a Show Choir and I seriously wondered how to transfer. If you are not familiar with this activity, it is a 20-minute show with singing, choreographed dance moves, multiple glittered costume changes, and set pieces all the while being supported by a live band. It has become a culture in the Midwest for many, making it to 50 years strong.
So when our daughter said she was trying out, I tried to play cool, but I was ready to live vicariously through her! She made it, and then started the long rehearsal process until one day they asked for chaperones and I jumped at the chance.
While there were long bus rides and letting go of a few whole Saturdays, chaperoning allowed me to witness how these students are amazing humans. I saw many times how they encouraged and supported one another when they needed help with their dance moves, sewing a costume, or loading a very heavy motorized wheelchair in and out of a school bus. I saw their friendship and genuine care for each other, and the way they cheered when their team member got awarded. I sat with them during lunch, on the floor as they chatted, provided hand massages if they asked, and always laughed at their teenage humor.
I grew quite a soft spot for this age group. I think it is because they could have these big conversations with me. Yes, there is a relationship drama sprinkled in there, but ultimately, they are trying to figure life out with an encouraging ear to listen. I heard about:
- Why high school is so hard
- The things that made them feel unseen
- What they wished their parents knew
- The darkest moments when they thought it was the end
One Saturday night, after a full event as everyone nodded off on the bus ride home, I spent two hours talking to a 16-year-old about everything from his interests to insecurities to worries about the future. This probably went above and beyond my chaperoning duties–using more of my pastoral skills instead–but I felt so privileged to hear his every word.
God is kinda like a chaperone, too.
Someone who supervises our life, does his best to ensure our well-being. Checks in and always accompanies us in case of emergencies.
I know God, too, wants to listen to our endless chatter and the things that reside deep in our hearts. Maybe it doesn’t feel like it when we are overwhelmed, anxious, and lost. But the Bible reminds us in 1 Peter 3:12,
For the Lord watches over the righteous, and His ears are attuned to their prayers.
And in Psalm 18:6,
In my time of need, I called to the Eternal; I begged my True God for help. He heard my voice echo up to His temple, and my cry came to His ears.
Not only that, but Jesus was a good listener, too! He didn’t turn people away, even when they accused or just didn’t understand what he was saying. He loved to listen well and gently encourage.
By the time the last competition rolled around, I knew I wanted to share some final words of encouragement mixed in with the lyrics of some of their songs to let them know what this season meant for me as a chaperone.
Every time I sat in the audience, I was mesmerized by the musicality of every note, your teamwork, your effort, every dance move, and your commitment to so many countless hours. It was pure joy to watch everything come together.
Even though the end is near on this inaugural season, don’t give up on those remarkable gifts each of you has. I am so proud of each one of you. Not just for your talents, but because of the amazing humans you are. The way you cheered each other on, were supportive friends, the laughter through crazy long bus rides, and extending kindness even when no one was looking.
Most importantly, I hope you know the impact you made each time you took the stage. You don’t know who was in the audience that day or even standing next to you that needed to be reminded of the hope in your words… to not give up… and that you are loved. It made a difference.
Continue to take this whole experience with you and know you are more than enough just as you are right in this moment. And whenever you feel like your world is losing its mind, let us keep creating more moments like this one.
Signed, a chaperone who lives vicariously through you.
A few weeks after their season ended we hosted the cast party with all 45 kids at our home. We spent the night in conversation, refilling bowls of chips, and just listening to them share. My heart was full as we said goodbye to our last guests two hours after the party ended!
You may wonder at times, is God using me where I am in my life?
If we take a peek a little deeper into our story, the answer is yes. Even in the mundane moments.
You don’t have to be a chaperone to provide the gift of listening.
Those times that we listen, it matters. It allows others to feel seen and provides a space them to use their voice where they might not have had otherwise. I invite you attune your ear this week, whether it is to better hear God’s voice or those right around you.
Today I was a chaperone. And through simple moments of connection, I was reminded life change can happen through listening.
Danielle Zapchenk is a speaker, podcaster, and all-around story enthusiast who believes your story matters—yes, even that one. She hosts The Parable Podcast, co-hosts Together We Rise with Women Speakers Collective, and helps lead the charge in communications, is a part of their leadership team, and teaches from time to time at West Ridge Community Church. With over a decade in women’s ministry and event planning, she brings heart, humor, and a task list to every room. Danielle lives in suburban Chicago with her rockstar husband Eric and their two hilarious kids who keep life awesome.
Follow Danielle on Instagram and download 10 Simple Tips to for First-Time Conversations and begin enhancing your listening skills.
