Today I shared my story.
I shared a secret part of my story.
For the past several months I’ve been privately writing it in bits and pieces, almost like a memoir. Writing my story has been scary for me and difficult at times because it requires me to be vulnerable. This vulnerability reveals the true depths of my human experience, bringing light to a part of myself that I haven’t been too well acquainted with. Opening myself up to share what makes me me demands a deep openness to trust myself to tell the story well, and to trust the reader to read it well, even though no one else has read it yet!
There is an undeniable connection between secrecy and self-esteem. Let me be clear – not all secrets are safe to be shared openly, with anyone and everyone. However, a secret that lives only within the self affects self-esteem in a unique way. Hiding who we are through keeping secrets intends to block others from seeing the more undesirable parts of ourselves, but it also hinders our own view of ourselves. Furthermore, secrecy breeds secrecy. More secrets are created to cover up old ones, compounding the negative effects on our self-esteem. Secrets must be shared with care and concern to trusted parties, where we can safely examine them and begin to see our true self.
Despite the fear and vulnerability it takes, writing my story has given me practice safely sharing my secrets. I’m embracing the practice, knowing that even if nothing else comes from it and no one ever reads it, it is good for my own self-esteem.
Today I shared my story with others. I shared some of my secrets. I spoke of my life experiences with vulnerability. I shared my pain and struggles. I shared my patience and peace. I shared my victories and lessons. I shared the unknowns I still wonder about. I did so carefully, not fearfully; slowly and honestly.
I have always valued hearing others’ stories. That’s how we learn and grow, and build social connections and relational skills. So I should not be surprised to know that others find value in me sharing my story, too. Could I imagine that someone else might learn as much from me as I could learn from them?
Upon reflection, how could I expect anything less?
Today I shared my story. Turns out, sharing really is caring. Caring for self and others.
2 Responses
This is so true. I’ve been learning that so often I’ve told myself that I must keep certain parts of my story hidden because other people won’t understand and will reject me when really I’m just borrowing those people’s voices to tell myself that those parts of me are unworthy. Like you, writing has been a way I’ve learned to be vulnerable with myself (even if I’m not the best at doing so with people). I’m inspired by your openess to share your writing here. Thank you for that.
Thank you for your kind words, Hannah! It’s amazing how writing can teach us so much – it shows there is so much healing within us already!