Today I was myself.
Hannah Rowen Fry.
I woke up with the sun around 7am. I made a cup of coffee – an Americano since I prefer espresso. I read one chapter of a book followed by a passage of Scripture and a short devotional. My husband woke up and came to join me with a cup of coffee and his own reading plan. We sat, drank coffee, and spent quality time reading together. I was myself.
He got ready and left for work, and I got ready for housework. I loaded the dishwasher, put the laundry away, swept the floor, and wiped down the counters. I would say chores aren’t my true passion and calling, but in this season of life, tending to the home is one way I serve our family. I took care of something and served someone else. I was myself.
I did a short yoga practice then walked to the beach. Here I read some more. I watched the birds. I pet some dogs. I dipped my toes in the water and made shapes in the sand. I was warmed by the sun and cooled by the breeze. Once I had read another chapter and played on the shore a bit, I walked back home having spent sufficient time in nature. Truly, myself.
I ran some errands, went to the library, got a few groceries, and donated to our local thrift store. I came home, painted my nails, watched a movie, read some more. I wrote and researched publishing options. I made dinner, went back to the beach for a sunset walk. I listened to Taylor Swift and video-chatted my parents. I walked home and had a glass of wine, a red blend. I enjoyed the simple pleasures of life. I was myself.
The sun has set. I am settling in for bed.
Today I was myself.
I love to be myself.
2 Responses
Hannah, your piece is about BEING yourself but you wrote mostly about what you DID.
This is something I wrestle with and I’m curious your take on it: it’s the easier answer for me, to say what I do/have been doing when people ask about me. I find I often fall into the world’s way of defining a person – and I explain my identity by what I am doing, especially my day job, and not in the being of who I am. But that view is so limited and ignores many of the most important things about me. It’s a shortcut; it lets people out of the conversation quickly, armed with their assumptions about me (and I about them) based on what we DO. It’s superficial. Maybe that’s why we do it – because vulnerability takes time and trust. In our day to day, we are move too fast for real relationships to form. There’s too much to do. But it’s slippery. When I describe myself in terms of what I do to the outer world, I can forget that my truest identity is what I am. I can buy into that external identity/definition.
(PS It sounds like a really lovely day! full of things that honour who you are and what you love! A good day for me involves beaches, reading and libraries too!)
Yes, you’re onto something about vulnerability, time, and trust! And identity – that’s a whole issue itself to grapple with.
I find that there are few people who want to know the “being” and certainly fewer who can be trusted with it. Kind of like when people ask each other, “How are you?” as a greeting. Very rarely are they wanting the true answer, not because they don’t care but because the words they are saying aren’t to be taken literally. They mean it as a “Hi, welcome, good to see you!” instead of an inquiry.
There is a level of comfort we must have with ourselves to know exactly what makes us, us, and to be able to share that unashamedly. It’s less alarming for readers to hear about what we are doing rather than who we are being… It’s more approachable as we begin to build this trust, being as vulnerable as they are looking for when reading a weekly blog while still inviting deeper relationship. I’d be curious to re-write this post and omit any “doings” though… I wonder how different it would be? That might be a good challenge for myself!!