Today I cried.
I cried on an airplane.
I was flying back home after a week with my 10 month old nephew, and I cried on the plane.
If you have known me most of my life, this will not come as a shock to you. I used to cry all the time – with or without reason! These days I cry much less, thankfully. Tears will flow when I watch a movie with a really happy or really sad ending, especially if there’s a dog. I’ll cry tears of frustration when confronted with injustice. And I need a tissue anytime I am overcome with joy, wonder, and gratitude in worship.
As I sat on the plane after a week with my nephew, this overwhelm of worship came over me and I cried. It’s hard to be anything but grateful for my little baby nephew. He’ll be turning 1 soon, and when I think about the past year of his life I am brought to tears.
He has brought our family closer, helping to restore the relationship between my sister and I. He has brought our family joy with his endless little giggles and bucktooth smile. He has brought peace that only a baby can when sleeping in your arms. He has brought healthy responsibility to us as caretakers, entrusted to nurture and nourish his little body. He has brought imagination, curiosity, exploration, wonder as we look at the world through his eyes.
He has brought gratitude for life itself in too many ways to list here.
I sat on the plane, reflecting on my time with him this week when one of my favorite songs came through my headphones: “Not in a Hurry” by Will Reagan and United Pursuit. It says, “Lord I don’t want to rush on ahead in my own strength when you’re right here. I’m not in a hurry when it comes to your Spirit, when it comes to your presence, when it comes to your voice. I’m learning to listen, just to rest in your nearness, I’m starting to notice you are speaking.”
God was speaking to me through that song on that plane. I became overwhelmed with gratitude for the life of my little baby nephew. I am cherishing the slow moments that have made up not just the almost-year of his life but specifically the past week. I’ve spent much of the past year cultivating and embracing slow moments with God, a decided shift in pace from the busyness I was previously accustomed to. In doing so, I’ve grown a greater appreciation for the slow moments with people, too. This slowness, this simplicity, has opened my eyes to greater things.
I humbly wonder if this is what seeing the world as God does is like.
The beauty in the mundane.
The wonder in the ordinary.
The excitement in the simple.
I turned to my left and looked out the airplane window at the clouds and Atlantic Ocean, seeing the paradox of the vastness of the world juxtaposed with the fascination my nephew has with the miniscule pieces of it. He and I spent the week watching butterflies, conversing in babbles, and studying buttons, snaps, buckles, and ties. It is in the small moments we cultivate appreciation for the big moments. These moments should not be rushed. They cannot be rushed if we are to experience all God has for us in them.
So in worship and gratitude, I cried. Luckily I was in a row by myself and there was no one to watch as I wiped my tears. My sniffles were hopefully stifled by the roar of the engines and countless headphones in ears around me. My tears rested on my cheek until the turbulence caused them to fall.
I encourage you today to stare out the window a little bit longer. Spend more time in wonder. Let the tears fall down your cheeks until they run off. Enjoy the simple moments that make us this big world. There’s worship to be found all around when we’re expressing gratitude for life itself.
Today I cried.
I cried on an airplane after a week with a sweet baby, grateful.
