Today I was sick.
I’ve had a sore throat, congestion, and runny nose for two days now.
My husband woke up sick a few days ago, so I assumed it would be coming. But there’s one symptom that I’m missing in this cold: I don’t have a fever. This is very unusual for me. Normally a fever is one of my first symptoms; I’ll even have a fever when my allergies are bad!
I don’t have a fever today, though. And because of this, even though I’m sick I am well enough.
I’m well enough to work. I can still focus. My mind is still active. My body can still move. I have enough energy to take care of myself. Usually when I’m sick, I try to not worry too much about what gets done. I prioritize rest so I can more quickly recover and get back to my normal routine. If I feel well enough to load the dishwasher, then I will. If I only have enough strength to pour myself another cup of tea, then that’s fine, too. Today I wasn’t too tired though. I was able to write, read, research, and do some work from the comfort of my couch in a nest of blankets.
So was it a waste of a sick day, or was it a waste of a work day? I was well enough to get some work done, but I wouldn’t call it my best work or most productive day. I was well enough that I didn’t prioritize rest to heal, focused on laying in bed, watching movies, drinking gatorade and eating chicken noodle soup. So it wasn’t a very good work day, and it wasn’t a very good sick day. I was well enough that I landed right in between.
The in-between is where I often find myself. Not just with my health, but in so many things. I try to remember it’s a good place to be.
Really, it’s the best place to be.
The in-between is a place of progress and rest. I’m choosing to embrace this dichotomy, not only on a sick day but in many things in life. There are some absolutes, but more often than not, the spaces I want to live my life are in this in-between. Not rich, but not poor. Not hungry, but not gluttonous. Not radical, but not passive. Not guilty, but not proud. Not drunk, but not abstaining. Not dumb, but not a know-it-all. Not right, but not wrong.
Not right, but not wrong.
I don’t want to be more right than I am loving. I don’t want to be more right than I am empathetic. I want to be in the in-between. In the space of caring, for self and for others.
It begins here, on a sick day, when I embrace productivity and rest at the same time.
Today I was sick. I had a cold.
I was well enough.
7 Responses
I have chronic autoimmune diseases, so I am sick every day. I just have to make the choice not to let my illnesses keep me from functioning. I able to watch the children before school at the Catholic School and this gives me purpose to get up and out the door every school day.
I imagine it’s a battle every day to make that choice. I’m so glad you found a purpose that helps you from being held back!
Hope you feel better soon
Decisions are made every day. Is hindsight the only way to tell if it’s true?
I love these deep philosophical thoughts!
My first thought was that I hate the in between but as I read further, I found myself agreeing-it’s a great place to be, actually.
I have this tension, too. It doesn’t come naturally to me to like in the in-between, but when I really think about it, I love it!