Today I felt nostalgic.
I’m not a very sentimental person, but today I felt nostalgic as I arrived home from a month in Costa Rica and began to reflect on my time there and the life I was returning home to.
August is a big month for me! Matt and I are celebrating eight years of marriage this week. I’m celebrating the one year anniversary of my book, The Way of Gratitude, next week. My nephew’s second birthday is at the end of the month. And all these celebrations are happening in the midst of re-entry. Whenever you spend time in another county, especially serving as a missionary or volunteer, it can be challenging to come home and return to normal. I’m not struggling with that too much yet, thankfully.
Instead, nostalgia is the main feeling I’m experiencing. I remember fondly how it felt to publish my book last year. I made lots of new decisions about the writing and publishing industry without any previous experience. Some of these choices I still stand by, others I am working to fix for next time! I had only been a writer for about seven months by the time my book became available for purchase. I’m very proud of that.
I’m nostalgic about our marriage, too. I didn’t love our wedding. We had a challenging first year of marriage for a variety of reasons. But since then we’ve had some years of great connection and teamwork, and others full of disagreements that we’ve had to work through. One thing I have loved about being married to Matt is how much greater empathy I have now. I thought it was just a personality trait you were born with; oh, no. It’s not. Empathy is a skill. It can be learned, taught, and strengthened. It’s also often a choice, just like love is. I should probably write a whole blog post about this one day. For now, I’ll just say I’m nostalgic about our partnership and excited for the next year of it!
As I reflect on my month in Costa Rica, my year of being a published author, my marriage, and even my life as a whole, I’m nervous but excited about what happens next! There are two Bible verses that are guiding this next season for me:
Matthew 24:45
Who then is the faithful and wise servant, whom the master has put in charge of the servants in his household to give them their food at the proper time?
Last year I read the whole Bible in a year for the first time, and this verse jumped out at me. I read it and immediately felt in the depths of my soul, “That’s me!” I’m the servant to support the servants. Teaching and resourcing people who are growing in their faith is one of my biggest passions. I love creating spaces of encouragement for people in ministry. I want to support learners and leaders. This has been a guiding verse for me and continues to be a place I find purpose.
Exodus 16:15
When the Israelites saw it, they said to each other, “What is it?” For they did not know what it was. Moses said to them, “It is the bread the Lord has given you to eat.”
This verse… Whew, I could preach a whole sermon on this with no prep! The Israelites begged for God to give them good food, and when he sent it to them, they didn’t recognize it. Manna hadn’t existed yet! God created something out of nothing for them, so they hesitated because they didn’t know what it was or what to do with it. Jesus does something similar in Matthew 17:27 when he creates a coin out of nothing to pay the temple tax even though he is the Son of God and exempt from worldly authority. When people ask me what I do, I say I’m a writer and preacher, and while that’s true, it’s not the whole story. Words for the work God has called me to don’t exist yet. I can’t explain it yet. I’ve coined the term “corrective theology” and that’s close… it’s the bread the Lord has given me to eat. I’m still just trying to figure out its flavor.
Today I was nostalgic. Grateful. Proud. Content. Expectant.
